The Subtle Saboteur in Our Speech:

How the Word “But” Blocks Growth, Connection & Unity

Life is full of challenges — and also full of opportunities to grow, to celebrate, to become more of who we truly are. Yet, many of us unknowingly hold a deep belief that no matter what happens, there’s always something missing. This quiet fixation on lack can subtly shape how we speak to ourselves, our partners, and the world around us — especially in relationships.

In partnerships, it’s common for communication to center around what’s not working, what still needs to be done, or how something should have been better. This constant focus on what’s missing often leads to a dynamic where life’s small victories are brushed over, uncelebrated, or even invisible.

This can leave those around us — our lovers, co-creators, friends, or team — feeling unacknowledged, disrespected, or dishonored, even when that was never our intent.

But let’s be real: this is not the whole story.

It’s just a perspective. A conditioned one.

And if we’re honest, it’s in overcoming difficulties that we grow stronger. It’s in the moments of adversity that we rise. No one becomes a master by walking the easy road. Mountain climbers don’t reach Everest’s summit without years of preparation. Companies don’t earn their first million without hardship. And no relationship lasts 50 years without navigating conflict.

Challenge is not failure. It’s the curriculum.

If we continue to shame discomfort, deny setbacks, or blame those who mirror our growth edges, we miss the gift. We block the very evolution we came here for. When we value comfort over growth, we stagnate.

And I believe — deeply — that none of us came here to play small. We came to evolve. To strip away lifetimes of limiting beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns that no longer serve our soul’s mission.

So let’s dig into one subtle pattern that influences all of this — and begin to shift it today.

The Linguistic Nature of “But” and Its Role in Separation

The word “but” is so common we hardly notice it. Yet, it carries an energetic weight that reinforces separation.

“But” suggests that one thing must override or invalidate the other. It makes wholeness feel impossible, forcing us to choose between emotions, experiences, or truths.

Consider:

“I love you, but I need space.”
“I feel happy, but I’m also nervous.”

In both cases, the but creates conflict between two valid experiences. It trains the mind to believe that only one state can be true at a time.

This is the language of the lower mind — the part of us conditioned to operate in dualities: right/wrong, good/bad, success/failure.

In truth, life is not binary. Emotions, thoughts, desires — they coexist. They overlap. They inform and deepen one another. And yet, we habitually use language that splits them apart.

Integrating Instead of Negating: The Power of “And”

The shift is simple — and profound.

Replacing but with “and” changes everything.

“I love you, and I need space.”
“I feel happy, and I’m also nervous.”

Now, both realities are allowed to exist. They support a more nuanced truth. They allow us to be human.

This linguistic shift helps reprogram the subconscious toward inclusion rather than division. It supports unity consciousness — the awareness that all things belong and that our experience is not meant to be flattened into a single dimension.

The Role of Energetics and Perception

Words are not just sounds. They carry frequency. And but has a frequency of resistance — it shuts the door on integration.

If we are truly walking the path of spiritual embodiment, our language must align with that path. Every word we speak is a vibration we emit. And our words are either creating wholeness or reinforcing separation.

The difference is in perception — the lens we use.

When we see through a fragmented lens, we experience contradiction. When we see through a holistic lens, we experience complementarity. The divine self doesn’t say:

“I am powerful, but I have doubts.”

They say:

“I am powerful, and I honor my doubts as part of my journey.”

This is where true embodiment lives — in the and.

Expediting the Journey: Breaking the Cycles

Growth doesn’t come from comfort. It comes from holding paradox, shedding identities, and releasing the need to be either this or that.

The cycle of contraction and expansion continues until we surrender to the truth of who we are — divine, whole, and ever-evolving.

By consciously shifting from “but” to “and,” we stop resisting life and start co-creating with it. We hold our power and our pain. Our clarity and our confusion. Our purpose and our process.

This is the energetic soil where transformation blooms.

Final Thought: Can We Step into Divinity Today?

We always have a choice: live in separation, or live in wholeness.

The words we speak shape the worlds we live in. So the next time you feel the urge to say but, pause. Ask yourself — can both be true?

If they can, choose and.

This small change opens a portal — a shift in perception, energy, and consciousness — that ripples out into your relationships, your leadership, and your personal evolution.

Let’s replace “but” with “and” — and step into the version of reality where all things belong.

Let’s find out what’s possible.